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Beard Head Winners!

I received many fine articles for our free Beard Head giveaway this week.  Remember, the task was simply to write why the Vikings would or would not win the Super Bowl this year.  Here is a picture of what the winners won (colors vary), followed by the winning entries:


From Stephanie:

During the 2009 season, the Vikings have shown more tenacity than most females in seeking a coveted ring.  Repeatedly, though admittedly not consistently, our men in purple have made our hearts stop as we watch in horrified amazement a last second pass leave the hands of our quarterback and land directly in the arms of a perfectly placed receiver, or as little Winfield blows in out of nowhere to blast tight end, running back, and wide receiver alike.  At no other time was this amazingness more evident than during the final regular season game against the Giants.  Some say the Giants had nothing to play for and so were not a worthy opponent, I say this doesn’t matter.  That final win in the regular season gave the Vikings the encouragement they needed going into the bye week; as the Silver Fox said, “It’s proof of what we’re capable of doin’.”            

Aside from the capacity with which this team has to play, they’ve got the personality.  Where else can you see a mullet-headed hillbilly, a motivated pothead, and a 628lb menacing wall playing on the same team?  Oh yeah… and 9 Pro-Bowlers… but who’s counting?      

In short, my husband looks great with a beard.  …Oh yeah, and the Vikings will win the Super Bowl.


From Mervin:

Will the Vikings win the Super Bowl? Are you kidding? Of course the Vikings won’t win the Super Bowl. The Vikings will never, let me repeat, never win the Super Bowl. There is quite obviously a huge conspiracy somewhere up in the sky against all Professional Minnesota sports teams winning national championships.

Everything from the Hail Mary way back in ’76, all the way into the current century when the Timberwolves went down in the conference championship in  ’04, and the Wild’s improbable run in ’03 which was ended as part of even more improbably run by the Mighty Ducks. That’s not even considering the other three super bowls lost by the Vikings.

Of course you say “Look to the Twins, they’ve won two championships in the last 20 years.” However at the time I was only 2 months old, and personally I have my doubts that it ever actually occurred. In any case, cheering for Minnesota teams for my entire life has taught me at least on lesson very well and that lesson is “GET READY FOR SOME HEARTBREAK, KID!

I have my doubts that I will ever see the Vikings, the T-Wolves, the Wild, or the Twins win a championship in my lifetime. The best sports run that I’ve ever witnessed was the University of Minnesota-Duluth winning the Division II national football championship.

It doesn’t matter that Adrian Peterson is running over LB’s and DB’s like they weren’t there, it doesn’t matter that the Vikings have the best defensive line in football or that Brett Favre is playing like he is possessed by the spirit of Johnny Unitas, the Super Bowl simply equals a loss for the Vikings.

 9 pro-bowlers? Puh-lease, the Vikings could have their team comprised of 100% pro-bowl players, go 18-0 leading up to the super bowl, and win their games by a combined score of 728-51. Once they were in the Super Bowl they couldn’t beat my hometown Pop Warner team.

If 10 years from now the Vikings were led by Superman at QB, The Flash at RB, and three Chuck Norris clones playing linebacker (and somehow avoided any fines and penalties for using super-humans), you can bet when Super Bowl LIV came around, the Super Bowl would be as good as kryptonite to Superman, Flash couldn’t keep his footing, and the fearsome core of the defense would be immobilized by forces and powers unknown.

I hope that I am wrong about this, I hope I can look back after the Vikings pound the Chargers in Miami and say “Wow, what a moron, I should have had a little faith in those Vikes!” But for now, I remain pessimistic and doubtful.


From Brett:

I have been a fan since 1969. The Vikings will go all the way to the Super Bowl and win the trophy this year.  We have got to be real here.  Who is tougher in the NFL right now than a Viking? Sure, Cowboys are tough but they cannot get close enough to a viking to lasso him.  Yes, eagles can soar but the viking has a very precise aim with the spear and can knock them out of the air. Everyone knows that a vikings’ favorite snack is Wisconsin Cheddar.  Packers would be consumed. (orally and physically). Who ever heard of a viking being a bird watcher?  Sorry Cardinals, you are not even on the favorite pastime list!  Saints?  When has a viking ever been nice to a holy person?  Sorry Saints, no mercy to be shown from a viking. My guess is that once the Super Bowl comes, the opponent will be the San Diego Chargers.  Why do you suppose the viking wears the helmet and carries the shield?  There is no way a lightning bolt can penetrate those two defensive items.  So there you have it.  There just is no one tougher than a viking.  At least I would not want to face one on the high seas of the NFL!


Congratulations to the winners and THANK YOU to everyone who participated!  Remember, Beard Heads make a fun and inexpensive gift for the Vikings Fans in your lives, check them out right here.

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17 Responses to “Beard Head Winners!”

  1. starrc10 says:

    Yes! The first line of the first essay seals the deal for me 🙂

  2. Tomb says:

    Wow, Adam, is that you in the picture?

    That’s a shnozzola right there. I’ve seen anteaters that would envy that proboscis.

    I’m just sayin’

  3. Purple Charlie says:


    Oh and uh uh hmmm to you too mervin…
    ( Just Kiddin )

  4. Fragile Freds says:

    Very well done by all three winners. Your old pal enjoyed all of them.

  5. Fragile Freds says:

    Freds thinks Chilly’s son could use one of those beard hat mask things about now. Sheesh.

    I expect Coach Chilly will be blamed for this incident too? Probably!

  6. B. Grant says:

    After taking a little paid time off, I see that all is well and normal at the gab, with Tomb checking out the physical details of a person in a picture, and Freds defending Chili. Carry on, men!

    I’ll be dong some serious hatin’ on the ‘Boys this week, hate that team for very obvious reasons. I do not fear their “hotness” or whatever the media wants us to buy. As Tom Kelly says, “Momentum is nothing more than your next starting pitcher.” This Sunday is all that matters. Expect the Vikes to be ready and the dome rockin!

    • Tomb says:

      You’re saying I’m weird for using a picture to elicit physical details?

      I also use food for sustenance, you know. I’m a whacky bastard!

      …at least we can agree on our hatred for the evil empire of Jerry Jones. He should wear a Beard Head, then I’d call him a Bearded Clam Head, on account of that’s how I roll.

  7. Purple Charlie says:

    Well on that note,
    Welcome back to the whacky world at Vikings Gab!!!
    Hope enjoyed your time off Coach, everybody needs some time to time…

  8. olderthandirt says:

    Congrats to the winners of the Beardshead!!! Very good essays all!!!

    All I have to say is “Mervin, you are hardly old enough to truly know Viking Heartbreak!!!” We older fans have become numb to the thought of us going to another Super Bowl.

    We have a very talented team, with some real character. I like the makeup of this team and how they all seem to be on the same page. Yes we played down to the level of a lot of the competition this year, but they also seemed to rise to another level when faced with very good teams,(exception to Arizona). Hopefully this rest has helped with some of the aches and pains, and they carry the emotion of the last 6 quarters of football forward into the playoffs.

    GO VIKES!!!

  9. Purple Charlie says:

    I’m one old timer that is with ya, If they lead off the way they played the last 6 quarters, I really like their chances…

  10. CalVkg says:

    sorry, but, c’mon, did chilly ghost-write those?
    you guys can do better than that, can’t ya?
    not sayin’ i’d be any good at it, but then, i wouldn’t wear one of those knitting needle refugees, either

  11. Cslinde says:

    Merv is a dumb a**! I can’t believe you gave that guy anything at all. He reeks of Packer fan. his article provided nothing useful at all.
    He was two months old when the Twins won? Good grief. ’91 is only considered one of the best World Series’ ever.
    Gophers hockey? Not so great couple of years, but 2 national championships in 3 yrs.
    This guy is an idiot.
    I wonder who his teams are…and where he’s from.

  12. Cslinde says:

    Ohhh…now I get it! It was soo deep and profound my pea size cerebrum couldn’t even grasp the ‘true meaning’.

  13. […] mikewobschall wrote a very interesting post today.   Here’s a quick excerpt:I received many fine articles for our free Beard Head giveaway this week. Remember, the task was simply to write why the Vikings would or would not win the Super Bowl this year. […]

  14. starrc10 says:

    I just decided to don my new beardhead and re-read the article that started it all. Ah, how great. I can’t take myself seriously in this thing though.

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