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Trash Talkin’ With Cowboys Gab

This week I resurrected my “Trash Talking” segment that I used to do. 

“Trash Talking” might not be an accurate description this time around, as it becomes quickly obvious that both myself and Alex Weston of have a pretty good amount of respect for each other’s teams.  Maybe “heated discussion” or “stream of consciousness” would be a better title.

Regardless, I would like to thank Alex for participating in this trash talking with me.  He’s a great writer, good guy, and avid fan.  I will feel slightly bad for him after the Cowboys lose on Sunday.  Since our initials are the same… I’m in Purple and Alex is in Blue.  Enjoy!:

The Cowboys winning in “Zygihood” just isn’t going to happen, sir.  The 8-0 home record speaks for itself… along with sixty-thousand screaming fans.  Go ahead, stack the box to try and stop a young man named Adrian Peterson, you may have heard of him.  That will successfully open things up against your suspect secondary, allowing Brett Favre to pick apart your defense by tossing bullets to Sidney Rice, Percy Harvin, and Visanthe Shiancoe.  Your defense will simply have no answers for an offense that averages 32.7 points when playing on turf.  Congratulations on a fine season, but this team has scored the second most points of anybody in the NFL… you won’t match us.

You might be disappointed with your prediction, “sir”.  While the Vikings present a very balance football team, the Cowboys are equally as balanced.  Your “28” maybe one of the best backs in the NFL, our “28” isn’t too bad himself.  He will leave the Williams boys sucking dust.  Jared Allen will run into the Flozell “Hotel” Adams and won’t sniff Tony Romo.  And the Saints, Eagles, Redskins, and everyone else not named the Giants, didn’t find the Cowboys secondary “suspect”.  The fact is the Cowboys are going to go in to “Zygihood” and show the Vikings how they do things is “Jerryworld”.  Austin and Witten are going to expose an overrated Vikings secondary and Roy Williams will dazzle everyone with his…drops…okay, not a strong one there.  Buckle up, because I do believe you’ve underestimated your opponent this weekend.  Plus, the Bears, Panthers, and Steelers called, turns out the Vikings aren’t what we “thought” they were! Don’t “crown” em!

I’ll give the Cowboys their respect, as will the Vikings coaching staff.  We are very similarly built teams.  We both have tenacious pass rushes, but we managed 6 more sacks than you did.  We both have dominant running backs, but one of our guys has found the endzone four more times than all of yours combined.  We both have fun-lovin’, gunslingin’ quarterbacks, but ours threw 7 more touchdowns and 2 fewer picks than yours.  We both have a knack for stopping the run, but we have a better run stopping average than your team.  Your tight end is one of the most respected in the league, but ours caught 9 more touchdowns than yours… AND didn’t false start every other play.  People talk about the Vikings being destined to fail at protecting Favre, but did you know that both of our teams gave up the exact same number of sacks this year?  Our pass defense is ranked slightly ahead of yours.  We also have a Rookie of the Year on our side, and 3 more Pro Bowlers.  But, hey, at least you have momentum on your side, right?

You and I can spout statistics all we want but you know that yesterday means nothing.  It comes right down to who executes more.  Let’s also be honest here, the Cowboys play in one of the toughest divisions in the NFL.  The Vikings had the Packers to deal with and that is it.  Even the Redskins are better than the Bears and Lions.  Stats are misleading due to the six divisional games each team will play.  Dallas simply didn’t play the vanilla divisional opponents the Vikings did.  As you pointed out, Dallas has been on a high and, other than the Giants game, the Vikings are limping into the playoffs.  I just can’t see McKinnie and Loadholt handling Spencer and Ware, despite their protection through the season.  The Cowboys defense started the year off bad and that is why they are statistically worse than the Vikings.  But after week 4, the Cowboys have one of the best defenses in the league, especially in pts allowed.  Now, your Vikes will try to make the Cowboys one dimensional, and they will fail, just like every other team.  You may stop one back, possibly two, but the third member of the 3-headed monster, always gets his full.  Best part is no one will know which back will have his day, not even the Boys.  Peterson will get his yards and his carries, but it won’t be enough.  This Cowboys team is different than the one people saw the first 4 weeks of the season.  You can even argue that they are different after the Saints game.  Come Sunday, the Vikings will know they are who everyone thinks they are.

If the past means nothing to you then why constantly refer to it?  I agree, our division stinks… the only part I disagree with is that you give WAY too much credit to those stinky cheeseheads.  In the end, your point is well taken, the moment of truth will soon be upon us and it comes down to which 53-man roster executes better.  So lets talk about a few CURRENT advantages the Vikings have.  8-0 at home, where our players are speedier and more productive.  The home crowd will ensure your offense gets frustrated from the amount of flags they’re drawing.  Our 53 guys are nearly 100% healthy and well rested, while the Cowboys have some bumps and bruises that could slump their production.  Your three-headed monster is going to get their carries, and maybe a few yards, but there is a reason why none of the three have separated themselves from the pack.  So, one last time, give me some reasons to doubt my team, and then give me a prediction.  And thanks for doing this!  While we are enemies this week, it was good to discuss this with another smart guy… you’re a good sport!  Here’s hoping for a great game with minimal injuries on both sidelines!

Your points are well taken.  I guess we refer to the past, although meaningless now, because that is all we have to talk about.  This is going to be a formidable matchup for both sides.  I will disagree with your point about the Cowboys backs not having a standout at running-back.  They don’t have one because they all are productive.  Why fix something that isn’t broken.  All backs have their roles and are pretty darn good at each.  Barber is your bruiser, Choice is your reliable “razorback” formation and third down guy, and Felix is your TNT home-run ball.  As for doubting your team, I’ll give you three reasons to doubt your team.  1) Tony Romo.  Say what you want about him but he is arguably in the top 5 quarterbacks in the league and is solid as a rock back there (playing another quarterback in the top 5, maybe of all time, in Farve). 2) Doomsday is back.  The defense has earned the nickname “Doomsday II”.  While it is still too early to see if this season’s success will carry on for years like the original “Doomsday” Defense.  This Cowboys D has stopped the most potent offensive attacks (Saints & Eagles) and will take a crack at  another one on Sunday. 3) Jason Witten.  The best TE in the league.  Touchdowns do not tell the whole story, but catches, yards, and third down conversions give you a hint at this guys ability.  Oh, and he can block just about anyone.  While I have many reasons to doubt the Cowboys, I would say the reasons are pretty equal. 

Personally, I think this might be the best game of the playoffs.  That being said, I have to go with the Cowboys 31-28 in OT.  Nothing screams drama like winning the game on a coin toss.  But, that’s another discussion.

My prediction will be a similar one, but with a different team moving on to the NFC Championship.  I’ll will make that prediction on Sunday morning.

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11 Responses to “Trash Talkin’ With Cowboys Gab”

  1. bigjohnny84 says:

    Good job Adam, as always. I forgot how much I enjoyed those segments.

  2. Tomb... says:

    Trash talk?

    That was like reading those two polite cartoon chipmunks with english accents exchanging pithy quips.

  3. Fragile Freds says:


    That was pretty darn funny.

  4. Fragile Freds says:

    Alex –

    “Buckle up, because I do believe you’ve underestimated your opponent this weekend.”

    Freds hopes you were kidding about that comment. How the heck could we under estimate the Cowboys? If you turn on your shortwave radio, you’d find out the national press doesn’t even think the Vikings should show up for the game.

  5. Alex says:

    Nice guys! I like the chipmunks with english accents. Freds, you are half right. I’ve heard both sides in the media but the edge might go to Dallas for their predictions. I think if everyone is honest this is going to be a very tight game between two very equal opponents, although the Vikes do get the homefield.

    • Tomb... says:

      All things being equal, most people around this great nation of ours should be hoping for a Viking victory–as we all know, every time Jerry Jones smiles, an innocent puppy dies an excruciating death.

  6. CalVkg says:

    there’s no underestimating here either way, imo

    i don’t think the ‘boys will run on us, they’ll prolly try and exploit our middle in the pass game, though

    i haven’t seen a ‘boys game this year, so i dont know ’em, but we’ve been passing well and i’d expect that to continue

    so, if that’s the case, i’d say 31-26 vikes

  7. TheTark says:

    I give the advantage to the Vikings because of the weather. I hear they are going to turn the AC on and leave the locker door open…

  8. TheTark says:

    The cowboys lost twice to the Giants this year, who are they kidding..


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