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Notes From Camp

Today was the first day of rookie camp and tryouts.  Here are a few notes picked up from around the web:

  • Joe Webb is a lot bigger than he is listed, according to one reporter.
  • Toby Gerhart is looking forward to winning the backup role to Adrian Peterson by proving he can help protect the quarterback.
  • Brad Childress is willing to give Brett the same amount of preseason work as he had last season.
  • Ryan Perrilloux showed off his impressive arm despite dealing with some wind.

CONTEST ALERT:  Anyone that takesthis Brad Childress interview and re-writes the questions but leaves his original answers intact in the most humorous way will earn my eternal respect.  Seriously.  Fore Example:

Q. Jeff Ireland of the miami Dolphins wants to know… is your mother a prostitute and your father a pimp?  Do you have an answer for him?

A. “Mine is the same. I still don’t know. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it from the way back when.”

OR…

Q. Did Tarvaris Jackson take advantage of his year off to study the playbook?

A. “Yeah, but that’s like me looking at a Picasso.”


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7 Responses to “Notes From Camp”

  1. Fran the Man says:

    Q. What was your reaction to the latest report on Favre?
    A. What report? Is he here today? DAMN IT! If someone else picked him up at the airport, I’m going to be pissed!
    Q. When did he tell you about his ankle issues and the potential he might need surgery?
    A. Just last night. We were having a little wine and I had just slipped into that cute little Stewardess outfit he likes so much, when he broke the news to me.
    Q. So you don’t think this news has any real bearing on his future in football?
    A. Future in Football??!! The guy will be 41 freaking years old. He has NO future in football
    Q. Have you looked at X-rays or the MRI of Favre’s ankle?
    A. Oh yeah, I sure have. He’s got some amazing ankles, let me tell you. And I’m normally a butt man.
    Q. You get input from the Vikings doctors on that?
    A. I don’t need no stinkin’ doctor report. I’ll take the ‘ol hick down to the river, have him toss some rocks. That’ll tell me all I need to know about his ankle.
    . How comfortable would you be with Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels as your top two quarterbacks going into the season?
    A. Hey, I got a 5 year contract at 5 million a year. Think I care if we have a decent QB?

    • Adam Warwas says:

      Haha, great stuff Fran, but you were supposed to change the questions not the answers 🙂

      Chili’s answers are halarious enough as they stand 🙂

      • Fran the Man says:

        D’oh!!

      • Fran the Man says:

        Ok, here’s another try at one of the questions;

        Q. What can you tell us about Favre’s need to have sex 10 times a day? It’s been reported that he actually leaves games, goes to the locker room, bangs one out and then returns to the game?
        A. “Yeah, I don’t have a lot of illusions about the timing of the thing. As I mentioned to you, way back when, there was no manual back then and he played at a high level. How much does he need? He knows. I’ve got a ballpark idea of how much he needs and obviously what he got last year was plenty.”

  2. Bismuth says:

    Q. Regarding the ongoing investigation into the disappearance of Brett Favre, you, Tarvaris Jackson, and Favre were seen heading into a Sears electronics department, but only you and Jackson were seen to have exited the store. The latest word from the authorities is that the two of you may be charged with his murder. Jackson claims that the two of you got fed up with Brett trying to make a decision on a big-screen TV purchase and simply left. What’s your side of things?

    A. “Mine is the same. I still don’t know [what he’s going to do]. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it from the way back when.”

    Q. Can you address the rumors that you’ve secretly been replacing Favre part-by-part so that by he’ll have turned completely into a robot by the 2011 season?

    A. “That’s been ongoing. That’s a life issue for him. Whether he gets things fixed now or later or has to have an elbow cleaned out now or later or a shoulder cleaned out now or later, those are kind of ongoing. That’s something that he’s going to definitely have to have a grease, oil, filter late on down the line here.”

    Q. Are you concerned that last season’s playoff collapse was due in part to Favre’s pants being on the ground in New Orleans? Is it true that Favre is considering a reverse liposuction procedure to ensure that it doesn’t happen again?

    A. “It didn’t have any bearing at the end of the season. We were aware of it and in fact spoke about it at the end of the season and it’s just a matter of whether he was going to or not going to address. We all are familiar with [Favre’s] aversion to surgery. That’s no surprise. So it’s just something if you want to live with it and whether you want to live with it the whole lifetime or want to fix it now, fix it again later. Again, I’m not a doctor.”

    Q. Have you ever seen the famous Guernica painting?

    A. “Yeah, but that’s like me looking at a Picasso.”

    Q. Have you sought treatment yet for the voices you’ve been hearing in your head?

    A. “My people talking to their people? Shug [head athletic trainer Eric Sugarman] talks to all of them. He has a good relationship with Dr. [James] Andrews among others.”

    Q. Going back Favre-bot for a minute, how are you prepared to deal with the upkeep of the thing? Have you calculated the sheer amount of elbow grease necessary to keep him playing at a high level? Also, my sources tell me that some of the warranties on the replacement parts have already expired! How will that affect things going forward?

    A. “Yeah, I don’t have a lot of illusions about the timing of the thing. As I mentioned to you, way back when, there was no manual back then and he played at a high level. How much does he need? He knows. I’ve got a ballpark idea of how much he needs and obviously what he got last year was plenty.”

    Q. Coach, can you address concerns that the team did not use the draft to try and improve an defensive line that ranked dead last in Dance Dance Revolution efficiency in the NFL last year?

    A. “I think I’ve said before, it is what it is. Obviously, we didn’t make a move and we’re going forward with the guys that are on the roster right now.”

  3. Sad Brad says:

    Q. My uh, my man piece, he hasn’t been rising to the occassion lately…Any pointers?

    -A. “Mine is the same. I still don’t know what he’s going to do. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it from the way back when.”

    Q. What is your reaction to reports that Brett Favre is uncomfortable in his own body?

    -A. “That’s been ongoing. That’s a life issue for him. Whether he gets things fixed now or later or has to have an elbow cleaned out now or later or a shoulder cleaned out now or later, those are kind of ongoing. That’s something that he’s going to definitely have to have a grease, oil, filter late on down the line here.”

    Q. Has Brett Favre spoken to you in regards to his desire to have a sex change operation? How would this affect locker room chemistry?

    -A. “It didn’t have any bearing at the end of the season. We were aware of it and in fact spoke about it at the end of the season and it’s just a matter of whether he was going to or not going to address. We all are familiar with [Favre’s] aversion to surgery. That’s no surprise. So it’s just something if you want to live with it and whether you want to live with it the whole lifetime or want to fix it now, fix it again later. Again, I’m not a doctor.”

    Q. I watched T-Jack play and I thought he looked good. Is that just my inexperienced eye?

    -A. “Yeah, but that’s like me looking at a Picasso.”

    Q. If I knew some distributors would you be interested in some high quality “product”? I could put your guys in touch with their guys…

    -A. “My people talking to their people? Shug talks to all of them. He has a good relationship with Dr.Andrews among others.”

    Q. Do you worry about Favre borrowing your car so early into the offseason? How much gas do you let him use?

    -A. “Yeah, I don’t have a lot of illusions about the timing of the thing. As I mentioned to you, way back when, there was no manual back then and he played at a high level. How much does he need? He knows. I’ve got a ballpark idea of how much he needs and obviously what he got last year was plenty.”

    Q. Are you disappointed you didn’t hire a chauffeur and limo service instead?
    -A. “I think I’ve said before, it is what it is. Obviously, we didn’t make a move and we’re going forward with the guys that are on the roster right now.”

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